Begin here….

First off , let me begin the blog with how and why this blog started.

I know Prabha was planning to do this too. Not sure if she did.

I want to write a blog on “How to Die ?”. Do not get wrong ideas. No , am not going to list down the painless methods of taking your life. Or a speech on why you should or should not.

Here is how it all started. I lost my father a few years back. People close to me know the difficulties me and my family members faced at that time. Not just emotionally. I mean losing a parent is a very difficult thing at any point in your life. More so when you are younger. But then living in a country like India – it is also administratively a big challenge.

You have to be prepared to die.

You have to take care of small things while you are alive so that people who have to handle your finances and other things when you are gone – have a lesser burden – atleast administratively.

Let me explain. For example – booking a burial ground / freezer etc can also be the most tedious of processes at times. I remember calling the burial ground for booking Crematorium time slot. The response from the other end of the phone was shocking – “Fully booked for the next 3 days” , he said. ” You can try on the 4th day – that too only in the evening we have a slot”.

“Are you predicting so many people will die in the next few days?” , I asked him – still reeling from the shock of how a crematorium can be pre-booked.

Thats when I realised – Death is also a business for many. There are agencies which have booked these slots , you can go them , pay more money than what you would if you booked a crematorium on your own – and you would get this slot at the crematorium you want.

I dont mind paying more money – point is am I getting any value-added service from these guys ? The answer is no.

Anyway , this apart , there are other obstacles – getting a death certificate , legal heirship document etc. A POA is null and void when a person dies. Bank accounts may get frozen. You still have to pay income tax for the deceased for that financial year even if he/she was alive for a few months of that financial year. All this is a little bit more easy if you have certain details. I , for one, knew nothing about my dad’s finances. or, how corrupt every step is when you have to go through certain agencies – especially government ones – to carry out some tasks.

So I want to write a blog.

Which people can follow and set right certain things like as simple as adding nominees to policies for instance.

Which can make life a little less complicated for the loved ones who not only have to deal with the very painful loss of loved one but also such lame administrative issues.

What do you think ? Do you want to help me write this blog by sharing some of your experiences that can go into this blog ?

HOW TO DIE ?

 

Who to blog about ?

This is getting more difficult than I thought. So I was thinking , lets start a blog and just start writing about people who have touched me. First was easy – it had to be Rohini. Last is easy too – it has to be Ankita. So who is gonna be the second…I thought , pondered , brainstormed , spoke to friends and here is post #2. Iam still confused as to who I wanna blog about.

I want some ideas people. Who do you all wanna hear about ? How about you tell me that and then I blog ?

Rohini Krishnamurthy (1980 – 2008)

“Hey – nee tamizh dhaane?”…. I do think these are indeed the first words she spoke to me. I had moved to Bangalore – IBM had transferred me there…and I had moved into a very very nice PG accomodation in Koramangala. She lived in the room next time.

We became very quick friends – nothing new about that as far as Iam concerned – I think those that dont interact with me on a daily basis are perhaps just the inanimate objects around me. Yes, Iam very talkative and am very proud of that.

Rohini hailed from as modest a background as mine. She hailed from Pondicherry had completed her MCA there and had just joined Infosys Bangalore through campus placements. She and couple of her friends from her college had joined this PG together. Parents were still in Pondicherry and an elder sister – this completed her family.

She was an extremely vivacious girl who really liked to live life the way she wanted to. I always admired her for that.

We stayed on in the PG for a couple of months before we took up a house in Madiwala and moved there. We had tremendous fun. They had opened up PVR in Bangalore – we loved films and would , on some sundays , end up watching 3 or at times 4 films back to back. We just had so much fun before life interrupted us. I had to move back to Chennai in 2006 due to a personal issue. Ro also took a transfer and moved to Chennai. Couple of months later she was sent to Minneapolis in the US of A for an assignment. I last met her when she came to India in late 2007 . She had also come down again Jan 2008 , but I was not able to meet her :(. She had called me once to tell me she was coming back to India for good – in April 2008 – as her project was getting over. But that was the last I heard from her. After that what happened to her is what I see on the google search . I tried calling her parents , but they are still overcome with grief.

Rohini passed away in the April of 2008 in a freak accident in Stillwater , Wisconsin (?). I did try reaching out to a couple of her friends who were with her and survived the accident , but I havent heard from them.

Ro – you definitely are a friend for a lifetime. I miss you and I always will. Here is hoping you find peace wherever you are.

People who have made a difference in my life

I have started this new blog just to write about all the people who have made a difference to my life in one way or the other. Ofcourse everybody in my family has. But I will start with people who are not family – not blood relatives anyway.

I intend to write about one person per day. Lets see how far I get.

I strongly believe you meet everyone for a reason , season or a lifetime. At some point during the blog, I would really like to take stock of how many of you are here with for me a lifetime 🙂